Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Why i hate matatus!

The festive season is upon us and with it comes alot of travelling here and there, and meeting friends and stuff. Now for the common mwananchi like you(no not you, the other you, yeah you!) and i are forced to take public transport in the form of matatus(big taxis) and buses. Im more of the optimistic type so i view stuff from the positive angle.....sometimes. I look at a matatu as my personal car which has a my very own personal driver and im just gracious enough let some other 13 guys come along with my in the car, some of the 13 other guys i feel like chuking them out pronto!
Once you enter the mat you secure a seat right in the middle of the mat(matatu) in the second last row. Once seated you turn to your right where an awful stench is eminating only to find a guy well dressed in a suit but may have only viewed a toothbrush in a photo in an advert and is quite yet to figure out how or where its used!
Im an attempt to get some fresh air you turn your right to find a 20 something year old guy right on the verge of blacking out on some cheap liquor and finds that particular moment an 'Idols' moment and belts out 'in tune' with the annoyingly screechy music being belted out by the tiny tweeters. Oh and just to make sure if you didnt know, he turns around to tell you just how much hes feeling that song.
The only place left to look is up or infront, but thers a problem. Infront of you is a normal looking guy with a not so normal body oduor. I must insist that parfum and or deo is a basic necessity almost comparable to food and shelter. The city council made smoking illegal on the basis that its harmful to other guys too, they should do the same about guys who find it hard to splash some water on themselves once in a while and hose them down in the middle of the street!
The concotion of smells is made worse by these ladies in the back seat who saw fit to drench themselves in the cheapest stinging parfum that exists in the market! I have nothing against using cheap stuff, i use cheap stuff, but dont make it that obvious, you feel me!?
There is a little known fact that mobile phone micropones are infact extremely powerful and that you can increase the volume in the speaker of your phone! Most people have no idea about that and that explains the shouting when one recieves a call! Add into the mix a miraa chewing conductor who keeps on sipping from an opaque bottle whose contents may very well be used to clean the loo, and you get a typical ride in a matatu and a trully Kenyan experience.

It can get worse though, travelling upcountry with a whole family of 7 perched on the two seats next to you or sitting next to a true african lady who spreads to twice her diameter once she sitts down and guys who refuse to open any of the windows!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Really? I mean.....seriously!!??

After two and a half weeks of scratching and guessing, i finally managed to fill up those answer sheets the University ever so graciously placed in our presence to try and gauge their inability to infuse any useful knowledge into our systems. Id have a better use for the white sheets of paper in a latrine at home, but all the same i hope i appease the markers and am awarded some grade worthy of my ingenious freestyle ability! :-)
The joy of my conquering my exams is extinguished just about as fast as it takes to finish a jug of keg a.k.a keeego (in my cousins case just but a few minutes) as the fully incompetent nincompops we elected into the August house try and muzzle the media like a rabid dog! ts extremely sad that the legislators of the day see it fit to impose colonial like rule on the free media presumabliy because they brought into the limelight the whoe issue of our UNhonourable members non payment of tax on their allowances which forms the bulk of what they take home! Its the audacity of the speaker to suggest that its charitable for MPs to pay tax and as such any MP who feels toutched should see the tax man! {paraphrased}.

Dear Mr Speaker,
While you sit your pompous ass in that so very comfortable leather seat, people working more that 40 hour weeks toil and work to the bone to make ends meet as you act as a class monitor to unrully selfish mind numbingly dum pack of overfed and over payed sleeping gluttons. And to make matters worse, you work a whole of 20 hours a week! Dear sir we as the Kenyan public get taxed to help see our country develop so as to ensure a happy and prosperous nation to future generations, that is not charity that is a sense of nationalisim and patriotism you seem to lack among many other common features of a normal man. If we pay taxes why oh why shouldnt you!?
Yours sincerly,
Concerned Citizen.


There has been talk and i guess some action thet the ECK be disbanded and a whole new commissioin be formed or something of the sort. Now my question is this, if the ECK made a mess of things, doesnt that mean that the MPs are infact in office illegaliy too? If the ECK is to be removed then it in turn means all the MPs should be sent home as well.
Now again, the ECK is being blamed on the violence that occured close to a year ago now, question, did you see any of the commissioners arrange stones on the Nakuru- Naivasha highway? Is it a commission official who struck the match to set the church in Eldoret on fire?
I know that to be guilty does not necessarily have to imply that you did the actual deed, but lets reason together, who has more to gain and is thus more likely to cause chaos? The guy seeking to be elected to parliament or the electoral official?
Get me right, i am not saying that the ECK is as clean as can be, im saying the ECK must be cleaner than the crop of @#$%^*& idiots that make parliament chambers a sleeping area!

Jamuhuri Day
Jamuhuri day which was this past friday was a mess to say the least! Scores of activists peacefully protesting the non payment of tax by MPs buy wearing a t-shirt were all rounded up and shaked up in Lang'ata Police station........Offence: wearing a t-shirt!!!

Its amazing just how people in power percieve and treat the people who put them there, in Kenya!

Recently in Thailand i read in the paper that a whole sitting president was up and removed from office by the courts, didnt get the full story, but i rili cant imagine that happening in Kenya!

Just a few minutes ago i passed by Uhuru Park, and guess what! The park was cordoned off by GSU personnel (fondly refered to as leta fujo unone) because of what i presumed was the fear that people would protest over the Media Bill and as well as MPs refusing to pay tax.

I would take to the streets to peacefull protest against all these injustices, i wonder how may other people out there would, cause if we dont.........who will?